The second Sunday after Easter always brings us the story of the apostle Thomas – often known as Doubting Thomas. Honestly, it’s a little aggressive of the lectionary – it’s like it’s telling us all, “Didn’t find the Easter story convincing? Well, how about THIS?” 

I wish we didn’t have this text every single year – it gets hard to write a new sermon about it! But I do value this story. I like it that Thomas feels bold enough and safe enough to tell the other disciples, I’m sorry, I just can’t get there with you. I didn’t share your experience and what you’re telling me is more than I feel able to accept as real and true. 

I like it that this apparently doesn’t break their relationships; the other disciples don’t shun Thomas, Thomas doesn’t cut them off either. They’re all together, a week later, when the risen Jesus shows up a second time. And I like it that Jesus responds kindly to Thomas’s doubts. He doesn’t exclude or shame him for having questions, for needing to see for himself. Jesus offers him what he needs. 

John’s Jesus does say, Blessed are those who haven’t seen, and yet believe. And John concludes, These things are written so that you may come to believe… and through believing have life in his name. That all feels a little pressure-y, you know? I’d kind of like John – and John’s Jesus – to give us the latitude to have our own doubts and needs and hopes, on our path of faith, as Thomas does. 

It’s in that light that I want to share with you all some words from Bishop Matt Gunter. Bishop Matt is currently the interim assisting bishop of the Episcopal Diocese of Milwaukee – our regional church jurisdiction, which covers the southern third of Wisconsin. He is the bishop of the Episcopal Diocese of Fond du Lac, which covers the eastern half of the rest of the state; he’s served there since 2014. He’s also been the provisional bishop of the Diocese of Eau Claire, north and west of us, since late 2020. 

The three Episcopal dioceses in Wisconsin are currently quite far along in the process of exploring reunification – becoming one state-wide diocese, as it was 150 years ago. The hope is that this  reorganization will help us use our shared resources better, and structure ourselves for mission and ministry. EpiscoWisco camp, which I think at least eight St. Dunstan’s kids will attend in June, is a great example of the fruit this might bear. The Diocese of Milwaukee had become unable to sustain a camp program on our own, but the Diocese of Fond du Lac had a long-standing and lively camp program, and the past couple of years we’ve been invited to join in, and be part of that program that’s so important for our young people. 

Anyway. There will be a big vote on May 4, about whether the three dioceses should reunify. Your lay deputies to that convention are Shirley Laedlein, Val McAuliffe, Gail Jordan-Jones, and Isabelle Marceau. If the dioceses vote to reunify, then that decision has to be approved at the Episcopal Church’s General Convention in June. At that point, Bishop Matt would become our bishop – not just our interim assisting bishop, which basically means we call him if we need something done that only a bishop can do, while a body called the Standing Committee actually runs the diocese; but our regular, official bishop. He has said that he would serve in that role for two to five years, while the new united diocese figures out who we are together and starts to explore what we need from our next bishop, so that we’re ready to undertake the significant work of a bishop search. 

I take the upcoming votes very seriously, and nobody knows the outcome. But I think most folks expect that we will move ahead. 

So, in anticipation that Bishop Matt may well become our next bishop, I’m going to introduce him to you a bit today. I first started to get to know him when we served on a legislative committee together for the last General Convention in 2022; I’ve continued to get to know him through clergy retreats and other events. 

I can tell you that he’s a serious-minded person, a deep thinker, but he doesn’t take himself too seriously. On Easter Sunday he posted a photo on Facebook of a table covered with bells, at the cathedral in Fond du Lac, with a sign above it featuring a photo of himself, and the words “Bishop Matt wants YOU to take a bell!” I like that the cathedral staff feel that their relationship with him is playful enough to do that – and that he found it funny enough to share it. And even though Bishop Matt is not my bishop, yet, I have found him to be responsive and kind when I’ve reached out to him about a few things. He’s meeting via Zoom with our confirmation class this very afternoon. 

With that long introduction, I want to share some of a short essay Bishop Matt wrote several years ago about doubt, and the place of doubt in Christian life. Let it be noted that I am hereby feeding three birds with one scone: giving myself a bit of a break from writing a whole sermon, after Holy Week; introducing you to Bishop Matt; and offering some material relevant to Thomas and his hard-won faith. 

Bishop Matt begins by remembering a conversation with his daughter when she was in second grade. She asked him if he ever had “little floaty things in her head that said No.” For example, she said, “Like when I say to myself there is a God and the floaty things say, ‘No, there isn’t.’ Or I say, ‘God loves me,’ and they say, ‘No, he doesn’t.'”

Bishop Matt realized that his daughter was describing her early experiences of doubt… and hastened to assure her that he was very familiar with the “little floaty things that say No,” and had been since childhood. 

He writes, ‘At one time or another, most of us have wondered about the existence of God, or God’s goodness, or God’s love for us personally. And doubt is not limited to the theoretical… 

‘On a more practical level, it includes questioning whether the way of life revealed in Jesus Christ is really the way to our fullest life and deepest joy. Is the way of gentleness, love, and forgiveness really the way? Whether they are theoretical or practical, the questions are bound to arise. What do we do with the little floaty things that say “No”?’ 

Then he proceeds to offer some reflections on doubt. First of all, he says, “Do not be ashamed, embarrassed, or afraid of your doubts. They come with the territory and actually act as a spur to spiritual growth. Frederick Buechner calls doubts, ‘The ants in the pants of faith.’” I have to admit that I’m not entirely sure what to make of that quotation – if I had ants in my pants, I’d probably take off the pants. But I do agree that doubts and questions can spur us to deeper seeking. 

Bishop Matt continues, “On the other hand, beware the snare of pride. It is easy to become self-satisfied for being so clever and sophisticated as to see all the difficulties with faith for ‘thinking people.’” Maybe you’ve run into this too – the person who thinks they’ve popped the illusory bubble of faith by pointing out, for example, the fact that children suffer. As if deeply intelligent, wise, and faithful people haven’t been grappling with understanding suffering in light of God’s goodness for literally thousands of years. 

Don’t be surprised by doubt, Bishop Matt advises. He says, “[Doubt] is part of the conversion process. The gospel is, after all, foolishness and a stumbling block. When the values and biases of the gospel conflict with the values and biases of this world into which we have been enculturated, there will be tension… 

That is true whether the prejudices are intellectual, moral, or theological. That tension leads to doubt. It also leads to a choice. Which biases am I going to live by?”

Let me give an example. The Litany of Repentance we prayed together in Lent invites us to repent of our “prejudice and contempt towards those who differ from us.” When I look at my life and my heart, I see those places where my inclination, undisciplined by my faith, is to look down on some person or group, or just not to care about them very much. Those are biases received from my society, and they are at odds with the values of my faith, which stubbornly insists that every human is beloved and worthy in God’s eyes – even if they think or do some laughable or despicable things. If I’m trying to follow Jesus, I have to commit to the hard work of seeing everyone’s worth. (Which is not the same thing as never telling someone that they’re wrong, setting boundaries or holding someone accountable.) 

So, yes – one of the friction points of faith is when it’s at odds with how we might live our lives without those convictions and commitments. That can be uncomfortable terrain, but it’s also important and fruitful.  

Bishop Matt goes on to suggest that we should be skeptical of our own skepticism. He writes, “We live in a skeptical age. It is quite easy –  and comfortable – to be a complacent skeptic. But, the bases of many doubts are also subject to doubt… Nothing that matters can be proven beyond a shadow of doubt. Truth can only be demonstrated by the living of it… Unless we are willing to doubt our doubts, our doubts can become merely excuses to avoid the implications of believing.”

Unless we are willing to doubt our doubts, our doubts can become merely excuses to avoid the implications of believing. 

And he continues: “Do not use doubt as an excuse not to follow Jesus or respond to the Spirit’s call. If I neglect to apply for a job because I doubt I will get it, I surely won’t. I can remain unchallenged and comfortable right where I am… 

Jesus calls us to follow just as he called the first disciples. We are left to choose whether we will or not. Thomas exemplifies this in chapter eleven of John’s gospel. When Jesus heads back toward Jerusalem to raise Lazarus, the disciples counsel him not to go because those who want to kill him are there. Jesus starts walking toward Jerusalem anyway. Thomas says to the others, ‘Let us also go, that we may die with him.’ He had come to believe that following Jesus was the way to his deepest joy and was committed to following him and sharing his fate. The knowing often comes in the following.”

Let it be noted: That’s the same Thomas as in today’s Gospel! It makes a kind of sense that the depth and boldness of his commitment to Jesus in life, led to deep grief after his death – and to Thomas’ reluctance to believe too easily or quickly that Jesus had risen and returned. 

Bishop Matt observes that it’s important to recognize that “while faith has its difficulties, so do its opposites, unbelief and apathy. For example, the persistence of evil and suffering has been a perennial problem for those who believe in a loving God who desires our good. The problem is not solved, however, by removing God from the equation. The question is only changed to ‘If we are no more than the most recent byproduct of a cosmic accident, why do we care so much about the suffering of others?’ Or, even more problematic, ‘Why should we care?” Some people are starving. Others are tortured. If there is no God, and life is accidental anyway, why do I care so much? Why should I?’” 

Now, there are ways that people who don’t believe in God answer those questions. Many atheists are deeply ethical people. The point is that the existential questions remain, whether God is in the picture or not. 

Bishop Matt offers some suggestions about how to live with doubt. First of all, he says, “Talk to God about your doubts – even if it means starting your prayer with, ‘I’m not even sure I believe you are there . . .’ God is not afraid of your doubts or offended by your questions. After all, Jesus invited Thomas to examine and touch his wounds. [God] has promised [Their] love to you – no matter what. God would much rather have you spend time with [Them] asking hard questions than have you not spend time with [Them] at all.”

And in terms of spending time with God, he urges us to continue with “the discipline of regular prayer and worship… An intimate realization of God’s presence and love puts to rest a lot of the questions.” [I would say, it doesn’t necessarily put the questions to rest, but it can make them a little lighter to carry?] 

Bishop Matt: “Such a realization does not usually happen without some discipline and time on our part. We need to be trained to pay attention spiritually. As with physical discipline, it usually takes time to see the effects of spiritual discipline.”

By the way, our new Centering Prayer group continues to meet on Tuesday evenings at 7PM, if you’d like to try sitting in silence with others as one approach to practicing the presence of God. 

Bishop Matt urges us to remember “that the Church includes and has included many who have struggled with believing; you are not the first person to ask questions about the faith. It is helpful to find out, through reading or conversation, how others have answered – or learned to live with – particular questions.” 

Finally, he invites us to “recognize that there is mystery at the heart of it all. As Christians, we believe that God has spoken and acted definitively through Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit. But God has not seen fit to provide answers to our every question. And even the answers we’ve been given contain mystery….”

I don’t think Thomas, or the other disciples, left the room after meeting Jesus that day with a sense of having it all figured out. How it had happened, what it all meant, for them, for the world. When Thomas says, “My Lord and my God!”… he’s speaking in wonder, in awe. Even if and when we have such moments of deep connection with the Holy, we don’t walk away with everything sorted and settled in our minds – for good.  Doubts and questions are part of this path, part of choosing to try to follow Jesus in community. The best thing we can do is befriend our questions, invite them to pull up a chair and have a conversation. Because if there’s really a there there, then our doubts and uncertainties can’t hurt it. But they might lead us deeper – into reflection on self and world; into conversation with faith community, past and present; into empathy, courage, hope; into the presence of that holy Mystery that knows our names, welcomes us as we are, and loves us beyond measure.