“For which of you, intending to build a tower, does not first sit down and estimate the cost, to see whether he has enough to complete it?”
This is one of those Gospel passages that might make people reconsider whether they really want to be Christians! Jesus often uses hyperbole to get people’s attention. For example, in another famous passage, I don’t think he actually wants most people to gouge out their eyes.
It is true that Jesus is not very interested in possessions or wealth, and has a keen eye for the way possessions and wealth can distort people’s lives and hearts. So when he recommends here and elsewhere that people should consider just giving everything away, he might mean it – in a “I really think you’d be better off if you did” kind of way.
But that’s not the main point of this little passage. This is a passage about counting the cost.
About assessing what a project, an endeavor, a commitment, is likely to demand from you, before you begin.
About choosing to try to follow Jesus with eyes open about where it may lead you. Because it’s not going to be all rainbows and puppy dogs and s’mores around the campfire.
Jesus is not recommending hating your family as a way of life. But he wants his followers to be prepared for the possibility that committing to him and his way may impact even their most intimate and stable relationships. I know some of you are living that, bravely trying to talk with loved ones about how you understand the teachings and call of Jesus.
Following Jesus may lead you to take stands that make you and others uncomfortable – including, sometimes, people close to you. People whose feelings or opinions matter to you. That’s the situation faced by the apostle Paul, in the letter to Philemon.
Philemon wasn’t part of Paul’s family. But it was a relationship that was important to Paul. Philemon was a local leader who hosted and oversaw one of the churches in his city, Colossae. He was probably a Roman Gentile Christian, rather than a Jewish convert. He was evidently a person of wealth and standing – a useful guy to know.
Paul’s life work was traveling the ancient Near East, founding, teaching, encouraging, and sometimes correcting the new Christian communities of the region. His relationships with local leaders were crucial. Paul didn’t want his friendship with Philemon to break down, for a whole host of reasons.
But Paul finds himself in an awkward situation. Philemon owns slaves, which was common for wealthy Romans. It seems that during one of Paul’s visits to Philemon’s church, one of his slaves, a young man named Onesimus, met Paul. Sometime after that, it seems, Onesimus stole some money from Philemon and ran away. The details are vague, but that seems like the simplest way to read between the lines of what Paul says here.
Onesimus visits Paul in prison – which is pretty interesting! At this point Paul is in prison in Rome, awaiting trial and execution for his faith. I googled, how far is it from Rome to Colossae?, thinking, it’s probably closer than I think. Friends: it’s 1300 miles! Whether by land or by sea, it’s not close. It makes sense that Onesimus wanted to get far away from Colossae, and Rome was the capital of the world; but it took some effort to get there.
Seeking out Paul in prison suggests more than a casual acquaintanceship. I wonder if Paul and Onesimus had talked, before; if Paul had, in fact, given Onesimus reason to start thinking that maybe his life had more meaning and value before God than his current enslavement.
So. Onesimus visits Paul, and their relationship deepens, to the point where Paul refers to him as his son. And Onesimus becomes a Christian. But: Paul needs to smooth things over with Philemon, somehow – without sacrificing Onesimus.
Not all the letters in the New Testament that are written in Paul’s name, were really written by Paul. But some of them were, including this one. And if you read them, you get such a sense of Paul as a human being, as a personality.
I love talking about this letter. I’m going to keep it brief and invite you to do your own close reading. The full text is here; it’s not long! Read it again, later, and notice how hard Paul is working to thread the needle. He wants to soothe Philemon’s indignation and get him to accept Onesimus back as a free member of his household and church. It is a big ask, and to be honest Paul is not particularly subtle about how he plays it. He lays on the praise: “When I remember you in my prayers, I always thank my God because I hear of your love for all the saints and your faith toward the Lord Jesus…” And: “Confident of your obedience, I am writing to you, knowing that you will do even more than I say.” He plays for pity: “I, Paul, do this as an old man, and now also as a prisoner of Christ Jesus…” He reminds Philemon of his debt to Paul as his teacher: “I say nothing about your owing me even your own self.” Well – except you did say it, didn’t you, Paul? And he hints that if he survives this ordeal and gets out of prison, he might swing through Colossae and stay for a visit – a great opportunity to see how his son Onesimus is getting on.
Paul lays it on thick – and it works. I feel pretty confident of that, because we have the letter. That means it was read and saved and shared. The alternative is that Philemon reads it, says some choice words, and tosses it into the fire immediately.
I have written letters and emails like this. Not often, but often enough to recognize the kind of work Paul is doing here.
He’s trying to do so much in one letter, a few precious paragraphs: to mend and maintain a relationship, to fundamentally change someone’s perspective, to bring someone along, even though it means some loss or sacrifice. I wonder how many drafts Paul wrote, before this final version?
Following Jesus can mean being Paul, pulling out all the stops, using every ounce of your famous eloquence, to try to persuade someone to do the right thing. Effort, vulnerability, and risk.
Following Jesus can mean being Philemon, being asked to do something you REALLY don’t want to do, something inconvenient or costly or annoying, because it’s what Jesus wants from you.
Our first reading today from the book of the prophet Jeremiah offers us the vision of God shaping God’s people like a potter at the wheel. If the pot becomes misshapen, or just isn’t taking the form God wants, God can take it off the wheel, squeeze it together again into a ball of clay, and start over. God is speaking through Jeremiah to remind God’s people that God’s covenant relationship with them does not mean they can do whatever they want. Indeed, it means they are supposed to show forth in their manner of life, individually and together, what kind of God they serve – a God of justice, mercy, peace, and human and ecological flourishing. When that’s not what’s happening, God might just squash the pot and start over.
This reading resonates with me right now because I recently joined a pottery studio. About every decade, since high school, I suddenly want to do pottery for a little while. And that hit me recently. So I joined this studio; but it’s been nine years since I last worked with clay. I had a lot of re-learning to do. I have worked on the wheel, like Jeremiah’s potter, but I’m more of a hand-builder. A few weeks back when I first started trying to put something together, the clay was just so floppy. It wouldn’t stand up or hold its shape.
I had to read up and remember that with clay, you really have to manage how wet it is. Roll out your slab with the slab roller, and then let it sit for a little while, so it loses some moisture to the air and the absorbent table top. THEN you can cut your pieces and they’ll actually hold a shape. BUT that’s not all, because the other thing I had to re-learn is that I really need to be able to go to the studio two days in a row. Because you make your piece, and then you cover it very loosely with cling wrap, so it starts to dry out but not too fast. That second day is when you clean it up, because it’s harder now, but still soft enough to work with it. This stage is called “leather hard,” and in this stage you can carve it, or punch a hole through it, or use a damp sponge to smooth out rough edges. Once you’ve done that, you let it dry out all the way before firing it. That’s called greenware – and greenware is really fragile. You can’t work greenware; it’ll fall apart in your hands.
So. I’m definitely extending Jeremiah’s metaphor here. But I’ve been thinking about all this as a kind of hands-on analogy for what kind of clay I want to be, for God. Not too flexible and floppy, but also not rigid and brittle. Right in that middle zone, workable, able to hold a shape, but also to be smoothed and given nuance and detail. Like Philemon – already formed as a Christian, mature in his faith in some ways, but not a completed piece yet, not ready for the kiln. With some important shaping and finishing still ahead, through Paul’s teaching and urging.
Counting the cost could mean assessing what a new path or a new endeavor could mean in terms of resources, relationships, or status. But sometimes just being willing to change can feel like a huge step, a huge sacrifice. Letting God the potter continue to form us, smooth our rough edges, strengthen our connections, make us more beautiful and more useful.
Sit down first and consider. It’s the kind of advice we give to young people. Don’t rush into things. Think about the risks, the stakes. Read the fine print. Know what you’re getting into.
It’s good advice. But there’s also something fundamentally unrealistic – something un-human – about it. If we could see, before we began, what our chosen career path would demand from us, in effort and stress and cost, we might never begin. If we could see, before we began, the cumulative costs of entering into any human relationship, we might choose to spend our lives alone. The best case scenarios involve loss and grief.
The trouble with counting the cost is that there are so many unknowns – like love, and joy, and doing good for others even when it’s costly. Next week we’ll hear Jesus tell stories about God’s reckless love, defying human commonsense to seek out and welcome the lost. Is it a paradox to say that the Jesus of today’s Gospel is asking us to undertake a sober, measured consideration of our own willingness and capacity to become people of extravagant, foolhardy love?
Last week, Bishop Craig Loya of the Episcopal Diocese of Minnesota shared a letter of comfort and encouragement to his clergy, reeling in the wake of the tragedy in Minneapolis. It’s a good word for Paul, for Philemon, for us. Bishop Craig invoked the Biblical image of Rachel weeping over her lost children, then wrote, “Now is the time for us to show up looking, sounding, and acting like the real Jesus in the world. Now is the time for us to remember that the stakes of the gospel are high, and that following Jesus asks something big of each of us. Now is the time to remember that [our] Eucharistic communities… are not nice gatherings offering maudlin spiritual comfort, but are in the business of subverting the world’s violence with God’s irresistible love. When we [stand] with clarity and courage, not everyone will be happy about it, and not everyone will want to come along. The inclusive gospel of Jesus… draws clear lines about what God does and does not tolerate. It is our job to keep pointing clearly and unambiguously to what God promises, and to what God asks of us. It’s our job to put up signs on the road that point to God’s promised reign of peace, so that our whole church becomes sign posters, ushering the whole world into a future where Rachel weeps no more.”
Amen. May it be so.