Today’s lectionary gives us important moments in the lives of two important people: Peter and Paul. Both became core figures in the early growth and spread of Christianity. Let’s start with Paul. At this point he’s using another name – Saul. Saul was both a Jew and a Roman citizen, meaning his family had some kind of tie to the Roman Empire. Saul is his Hebrew name, like the first king of Israel; Paul, or Paulus, is his Roman or Latin name, which he starts using more as his story moves along. 

Saul is maybe five years younger than Jesus. But he never meets Jesus during Jesus’ life. He grew up in the city of Tarsus, in modern-day Turkey. He came from a religious family with ties to the Pharisee camp of Judaism – a renewal movement to lead Jews to more active daily piety and practice. As a young man Paul studied in the Law in Jerusalem, as a student of Gamaliel, a great rabbi whom we met briefly last week. 

When the Christian movement starts to grow, in the months and years after Jesus’ death and resurrection, Saul is angry about it. Throughout the Gospels, we see a nuanced relationship between Jesus and the Pharisee movement. They share a desire to have people commit deeply to God and to living in God’s ways. But the Pharisees care a lot more about following the daily faith practices laid out in the Torah. And when the early Christians start saying that Jesus is God, the Pharisees don’t like that. The idea that there is only one real, true, eternal God – the God of Israel – is absolutely central to Judaism. And this thing the Christians are saying about how it’s OK because Jesus is not a second God but somehow a different part of the one God does not cut it with many Jewish leaders. Christians are rounded up, imprisoned, and in some cases, executed. Stephen becomes the first martyr, stoned to death for preaching Jesus. That’s where we first meet Saul, in Acts chapter 7: he’s watching the coats for the mob, so they won’t get their clothes bloody. Acts tells us, with chilling simplicity, “Saul approved of their killing him.” 

Then Saul decides to help stamp out the Christian movement. He gets himself deputized to go round up Christians in the city of Damascus, so he can bring them to Jerusalem in chains. When we see someone who harbors a real hatred of some group of people – an active hatred that drives their actions – we look for explanations, because that’s not how most of us live our lives. In the letter to the Galatians, Paul tells us in his own words what was going on in his mind and heart: “I was violently persecuting the church of God and was trying to destroy it. I advanced in Judaism beyond many among my people of the same age, for I was far more zealous for the traditions of my ancestors.” Paul says he was persecuting Christians because of his zeal – his eager, burning commitment – to Jewish teaching and practice. He saw Christianity as a profound threat to something he loved, already under threat from the cultural and religious dilution of the Roman Empire. His hatred was rooted in love – and in fear. 

And then: this happens. He’s on the road to Damascus, and a blinding light strikes him. He falls to the ground. A Voice speaks to him, names him: “Saul, Saul, why do you persecute me? I am Jesus, whom you are persecuting.” This moment and its aftermath completely change Saul’s heart and Saul’s life. Later in Acts, Paul retells this story; I expect he told it many times. In that re-telling, Paul says that the Voice also said, “It hurts you to kick against the goads.” A goad is a long stick with a pointed end used to control livestock – for example, to urge oxen along when pulling a cart or plow. To kick against the goad is to resist being steered to move in the desired direction. You can imagine how that could be painful for the animal! 

It hurts you to kick against the goads. There’s every reason for Jesus rebuke Paul in anger; look what he’s doing to Jesus’ friends! But instead Jesus names that Saul is in pain. That he’s fighting or resisting something within, perhaps something that underlies his fight with the Christians. 

Sometimes people’s hatred towards others is an externalization of something they hate inside themselves. I think of various leaders over the years who have been vocal in condemning the LGBTQ+ community, only to have it revealed that they themselves experienced same-sex attraction.

I don’t know exactly what kicking against the goads meant for Paul. But it meant something – enough to change his life; enough that he was still talking about it years later. And for me this detail just emphasizes the compassion that the Voice that is Jesus shows towards Saul, his persecutor, here in this pivotal moment for Paul and for the church. 

I love how the story continues – notice that Ananias also has a vision of Jesus, and also has to have his heart changed, to be willing to extent kindness to an enemy of the church! But I still need to talk abut Peter. The thing that’s hard about telling Paul’s story briefly is summing up his impact and importance for the early church! He spread the gospel of Jesus among non-Jews, founding many churches. He wrote letters and sermons that developed Christian teachings and shaped the growth of the movement. He mentored people and raised up other leaders. Eventually, he was most likely executed for his faith in Rome, in the year 66 or 67. But the impact of his life and voice and teachings extends to the present and beyond. 

And then there’s Peter. The thing that’s hard about telling Peter’s story briefly is sharing all the nuances of his walk with Jesus. The Gospel story today is more or less the end of John’s Gospel. People sometimes call it the Beach Breakfast Gospel. 

Peter and some of the others don’t really know what to do with themselves. Jesus died, and everything was over, and then Jesus was alive again, but everything still kind of seems to be over, so they figure they’ll go back to their old jobs as fishermen. You gotta earn a buck somehow. 

So they go out on the Sea of Tiberias – another name for the sea of Galilee, where they were fishing when Jesus first met them. They have a lousy night, but at first light, someone standing on the beach tells them, Try the other side of the boat. Stupid advice, but they do it, and immediately catch one hundred and fifty-three fish. That surprising change of fortune makes the penny drop; suddenly they realize that the stranger on the beach is no stranger at all. They come ashore, and Jesus has fish and bread cooking over a fire – doesn’t that sound amazing? He gives them bread and fish, and then… he has a little chat with Peter. 

Let me give you a few Peter highlights, before we circle back to this scene. When Peter first meets Jesus – after another miraculous catch of fish – Peter falls at Jesus’ feet, crying out, “Go away from me, Lord, for I am a sinful man!” There’s the story where the disciples are out on the sea in a boat and Jesus comes towards them, walking on the water; Peter wants to try it too, and jumps in, and it works for a second, but then he starts to panic and then he starts to sink, and Jesus has to grab him and pull him out of the lake, saying, “You of little faith, why did you doubt?” 

There’s the time when Peter boldly tells Jesus, You are the Messiah, the Son of the living God; but then when Jesus starts to talk about how he’s going to be arrested and crucified, Peter takes him aside and tells him, “No, that’s not right at all.” Jesus takes Peter, James and John with him when he goes to meet with Moses and Elijah, holy leaders from ancient times, on a hilltop; Peter gets so excited that he wants to build little shrines for all three of them. Peter often asks the questions the other disciples want to ask, like, So, if somebody sins against me, how many times do I have to forgive them? And, So you say it’s hard for the rich to get into heaven. Well, we’re poor, and we left the little that we had to follow you. What are WE going to get, in Heaven? 

On the last evening before his arrest, when Jesus tries to wash the disciples’ feet to show them how to be people of humble service, Peter initially resists: I won’t let you do this for me! When Jesus says, “If you won’t let me wash you, you aren’t in this with me,” Peter says, “Well, then, don’t just wash my feet! Wash my hands and my head too!” And Jesus has to say, Look, Peter. People who have bathed recently only need their feet cleaned.. 

And when Jesus predicts that his disciples will betray and abandon him, Peter insists: I would never! I’ll stand by you even in the face of death! And indeed, when Jesus is arrested and most of his disciples flee, Peter follows at a distance to try to find out what will happen… but when people around him start asking him, Hey, aren’t you one of that guy’s disciples?, he emphatically denies it. I don’t even know the guy! 

What picture of Peter emerges from all this? He’s a big personality with big feelings. He’s loving and enthusiastic and impetuous and sometimes doesn’t read the room very well. He very much wants to get it all right, but it sometimes takes a while for an idea to get through his head. His Hebrew name is Simon, which means, Listen or Hear, but Jesus calls him Peter, Latin for Rock, and scholars wonder if that was a little joke. He’s deeply devoted to Jesus, but also gets freaked out sometimes and isn’t as brave as he wants to be. Fair! 

The Peter we see in today’s Gospel is consistent with all of this. I love the detail that he puts his clothes on before he jumps into the lake. They’re probably fishing naked to protect their clothing from wear and wet. Peter’s pausing to get dressed seems like a moment when thoughtfulness triumphs over impetuousness… until he jumps into the lake fully clothed. Oh, Peter. 

The night  Jesus’ arrest, people asked Peter, three times, if he was one of Jesus’ followers. Three times, Peter insisted that he was not. His fear overwhelmed his courage, his commitment. 

So, here, on the beach, three times, the risen Jesus asks Peter: Do you love me? It’s an opportunity for Peter to reverse his denials, to affirm his love. That may be fairly obvious to anyone who puts chapters 18 and 21 of the Gospel of John side by side, but it is not obvious to Peter in the moment. His feelings get hurt that Jesus keeps asking him the same question; he feels like Jesus isn’t taking his words and assurances seriously. (I wonder why not!) Lord, you know everything; you know that I love you! 

Jesus does know Peter, very well. I think that’s why Jesus gives Peter clear instructions about what loving Jesus should look like, for him, in the days and years ahead: Feed my lambs. Tend my sheep. Feed my sheep. In John’s Gospel, Jesus uses a lot of shepherd metaphors; the sheep and lambs here are clearly not literal livestock, but the community of those who believe in and follow Jesus. 

Now, attention to the needs of the group has not been a strength for Peter heretofore. He’s been very focused on his own spiritual growth, on being Jesus’ best student. Jesus is telling Peter, Your work from here on out is the work of servant leadership, of teaching and tending the community of believers. It’s a big reorientation for Peter – but it seems like he’s able to rise to it. We meet Peter again, in the book of Acts, as a core leader in the early church in Jerusalem, helping build, shape, and protect the growing Christian community and way of faith. 

Paul and Peter, Peter and Paul. I’ve heard them held up as different archetypes of the faith journey: Paul’s sudden conversion and transformation of life, Peter’s slow growth in faith and capacity to live from his beliefs. Over the years I’ve thought from time to time that my personal faith story is more of a Peter story. I’ve never really not belonged to a church, even as the place of faith in my life has changed over the decades. 

But I’ve had some Paul moments too – moments when my path, and my life, changed quite suddenly, in response to what I understand to be a nudge or interruption from God. And you know what: Peter had those moments too! What else can we call it than conversion, when he first walks away from his boat to follow Jesus? What else can we call this beach breakfast than yet another conversion to the role and work ahead of him – even knowing what it would cost him, at the end? 

If Peter had Paul moments of sudden conversation, I’ll bet Paul’s faith story is not just a story of sudden change, but also of long-term believing and seeking. Of his commitment to the God he’d loved and served since birth leading him – in spite of himself – to a new call and community. 

Peter and Paul, Paul and Peter. Many differences; lots in common too.  Pillars of the early church; human, ordinary, stubborn, flawed; and so, so beloved. Like Mary of Bethany, whom I spoke about a few weeks ago, it’s moving to me just to dwell with the glimpses we get of their personalities and experiences; to remember that these were real people whose lives were transformed by their encounters with Jesus Christ. And it’s moving for me to see how much love is at the heart of each story. How much each person’s life was upended and transformed and sanctified by Jesus’ understanding, Jesus’ gentleness, Jesus’ challenge, Jesus’ call. By Jesus’ love. 

May we know ourselves thus loved.

May we be ready to hear ourselves thus called.